Before the first date
I don't want another dinner with a stranger.
Another evening, another polite performance across a table — and still no idea how they fight, how they spend, or what they actually want. Find that out before you book it.
Know first. Then decide.
Not another dating app — however you met, this is the step between meeting and meeting up.
01 — Send the invite
After that first call, one of you sends the questionnaire. It says: I'm serious enough to ask.
02 — Both answer, apart
The same honest questions, answered separately — what you actually do, not what your profile says.
03 — Talk before you meet
Every mismatch becomes a guided conversation — before the first date, not six months after it.
A memorandum of understanding — a plain statement of intent between two people. Ours is about the first date: what you each actually want, said before you meet.
Why now
A mismatch found early is cheap. Found late, it costs years.
First dates cost an evening and real money — and the expensive questions rarely get asked on them. Dating MOU puts the honest questions before the calendar invite, so the first date is a decision, not a gamble.
A conversation, never a verdict
"You said marriage-track. They said seeing where it goes. Here's how to talk about it on your next call."
No compatibility score. No grade. Just where you stand — and what to say next.
What comes out
You both answer. AI writes the agreement.
When you've both finished, AI turns your answers into a two-person MOU — what you already agree on, the few things worth talking about, and the exact line to open with — in a voice you pick. Here's Sam & Alex's.
Memorandum of Understanding
Sam & Alex
You did the honest part before the nervous part — fourteen answers each, written alone. Most of what matters, you already share. Three things deserve care, and each comes with a way in. Nothing here is a verdict; it's a head start.
We already agree
- After a fight, you both reach out first. Neither of you lets things go cold — keep that.
- The same things keep you both: feeling seen, and laughing. Protect them on purpose.
- You each need two or three evenings alone a week. Solitude isn't distance — it's already agreed.
Still in negotiation
- Under pressure, one of you talks it through; the other goes quiet. To close it: agree on a signal for “I need 20 minutes, and I'll come back” — before you need it.
- The check: paying is care to one, splitting is respect to the other. To close it: each say what it means, then set a rule for date one only.
- One fears losing themselves; the other fears being left. To close it: name both fears out loud early — they shrink when they're not secrets.
Sam
Read & acknowledged
Alex
Signs over dinner
Openers — say these on the date
- “When things get hard I go quiet — but I always come back. What do you do?”
- “Paying the check means something to me. What does it mean to you?”
- “Can I tell you the thing I'm most afraid of? You go second.”
Know before you go.
Dating is the dress rehearsal for the long term. Start it on the same page.